My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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