piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
