if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
