their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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