I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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