Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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