the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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