Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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