Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
