yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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