the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
