Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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