Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
