she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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