It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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