We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
