Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
