Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
