I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
