I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
