I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Randomize
