all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
