Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
