We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
