is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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