Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My vagina just recognized that song.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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