You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
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Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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