I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
