1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
