4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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