Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
