Banned from zoo.
Again?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
