Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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