I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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