i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
