Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
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Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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