Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
