This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
