Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize