pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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