I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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