u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize