i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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