i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
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Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
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Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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