So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
