used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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