Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
