So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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