I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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