no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
