CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
