Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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