You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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