I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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