question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
